12/01/2003 - 12/31/2003

Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Eyes focus on the distant horizon. Muscles tense, at the ready. A wolf standing ready for the jackals to descend. Breathing is slow and even. Suddenly, a yell is heard from yonder hill. Eyes focus narrowly on the first ridge. The enemy spills over, running, weapons in the air. Your body reacts, drawing your shield in closer. You yell, running forward to meet your fate. The clash of metal hurts your ears. The ground becomes slippery with spilt blood. You stumble over bodies. The smell of iron from blood and metal fills your nostrils. Sweat runs down your body. You arc your ax in front of your body, shielding your body from attack. Tribesmen fall beside you. Still you fight on. The enemy retreats back over the ridge. Your body heaves upon your knees. You witness the carnage around you. Another day in retail.
Posted by: CJ / 1:00 AM
Thursday, December 11, 2003
My Mother, Keith (brother), and Mike (Keith's friend) spent Thanksgiving with us. We had a traditional dinner with Keith offering grace. We enjoyed having family around us although we had a small window of time to plan for; Jessica did not get home from work until 2:30 pm and Mom had a 5 pm train to catch back to Portland. But for an hour and a half we were all together.Thanksgiving has been shrinking over the years. Both of my parents come from families of six children. Thanksgiving always meant a large gathering, with children spilling over to the card tables. Even as a teenager, I shared the piano bench with my cousins at the big table. Now Thanksgiving has fewer attendees, much like my personal life. As I have aged, I have realized the value of a few deep friendships and have weeded out acquaintances that I would associate with because I "should.""Should" does not live with me anymore. Nor does "because." I try to spend each moment enhancing my life and other's opinions affect me less and less. I seek a solitary path with a few friendships to warm the way. I am not disappointed.
Posted by: CJ / 5:11 PM
Halloween came and went like the leaves of autumn. Slowly, I saw the approach on the horizon; costumes in the stores, pumpkins on the curb. Leaves, one by one, changed color on the trees. One day, while driving to work, the world seemed bathed in rust, orange, and brown. Just as suddenly, Halloween was two days away. Austin asked if we were having our usual feast. I realized I had neglected to ask for my favorite holiday off. I had to work on the day we honor our ancestors.We agreed to celebrate on October 30. This meant I would only miss the neighborhood children trick or treating the next evening. Brad and I cooked the beef, prepared the squash and potatoes, ensured we had apple pie for dessert - and mead for toasting. A fire was lit, we ate remembering what Halloween meant to our ancestors. This was the time when the fall harvest was put away, animals too weak to live through winter were killed, Relatives, long gone, were allowed to return.We started celebrating the Celtic New Year when our children were small. Americans so easily lose their cultural roots and replace it with saplings of technology and consumption. Brad and I wanted them to remember the values and traditions that our ancestors held.My heart warmed at Austin's insistence that we keep the tradition alive. The evening ended with each of us writing on a piece of paper. We write down a personal trait, habit, or value to let go of during the next year. We fold it, and one by one, we throw our papers into the fire. The new year has begun.
Posted by: CJ / 4:53 PM