5/01/2004 - 5/31/2004

Thursday, May 20, 2004
The sun felt warm on my fingers as I worked the thread through the cloth. Sitting outside with birds serenading, traffic in the distance, town noise in the air; methodically moving the needle up and down. Totally absorbed.Something dark catches my eye. A spider has chanced to crawl up my left leg and onto my needlework. I hold perfectly still, knowing any rush of air will cause it to scurry. The spider is worth enjoying. At 1.5" long and 1" wide, I can see the coloring. At first glance he is black. The sun provides a second glance. A brown color swirls and dances in the sunlight. A perfect blend.All too soon, he walks over my cloth and down my right leg. I resume my stitching.
Posted by: CJ / 11:13 PM
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Sleep. Restful, rejuvenate, peaceful, blissfully, intoxicating. . .Sleep. I miss that which I take for granted. I miss how sleep allows muscles to relax, the mind to ponder, the soul to be ready. All the wondrous gifts allude me. My work schedule does not allow for sleep. I started work today two and a half hours before I usually wake up. That translates into four hours sleep. I spent this evening in a groggy fog. I will still feel tired tomorrow.I will do it again on Monday.My life has become full in the past two years. In fact, I have trouble fitting it all in. Hence, my resentment over the lack of sleep. I may work only forty hours a week, but my job eliminates two days a week of my life. I realized this point at the wrong moment. At work. I can usually hide my irritation at all the little "going on's," as my mother would say. I can usually keep from grabbing insults and slights out of the air. Not this morning. I had a fishing net laid out around me. I fish well.A resolution awaits my discovery. Tension motivates action. Action causes change. Change results in growth. My job situation is an opportunity for growth. I will do well to lean into it.
Posted by: CJ / 10:02 PM
Sunday, May 02, 2004
New life has entered this world. Azahlen Pearl arrived last week. Her little round face under a tuft of dark hair beams with anticipation. Her life will not be boring. I know her mother.I first met Kitty when she was in the fourth grade and became Austin's friend. She is intelligent, fiercely independent, with a personality one can't ignore. She put in her time as a hellion, a rebel. I can still see her standing with her chin thrust out when anyone gathered up the nerve to say no. The only word in the English language guaranteed to cause an immediate reaction in Kitty is no. Now she is a mother. I know she will be a loving, protective one. But little Azzie is in for the ride of her life. The first time she says no I expect to see fireworks over the eastern sky.My prayers go out to Kitty and Azzie. May their road together bring them closeness and love.
Posted by: CJ / 10:27 AM